Why Politicians Don't Fish !


Its all about telling lies. Both politicians and fishermen lie. The difference is “fishermen” tell lies that you will know immediately are lies. Fishing lies are all about how big the fish, how light the fishing gear, how resourceful the fishermen, how great the struggle to land that fish. Almost all fishing lies are started with the words, “this is a true story about that fish….” And the fisherman almost always ends his or her story with,” …and that’s a true story!”


Now the “politician” denies that he or she is about to tell you a lie. They are way more creative than the poor fisherperson. Politicians really, really want to deceive you. (Fishermen are really more interested in entertaining than deceiving.) Politicians will do anything and everything to avoid getting caught in a lie. They will swear up and down. They will change facts for the convenience of proving their lie. They will obfuscate, fumigate, confiscate, and ruminate to keep their lie telling from being exposed. My recent favorite political lies are “it’s free”, “I will never raise your taxes”, “the borders are secure and safe”, “we won that war”, “we will never leave an American behind.” There are so many others. One can always know when a politician is lying…their lips are moving! You can never tell when a politician is not lying, because they are always lying!


Let me give an example of a fisherman’s lie. I grew up in the great state of Alaska. My lifelong friend, Bwana, and I, chased fish together since we were kids. Many years ago, we fished Goose Creek along the Alaska Railroad about forty miles out of Anchorage. Bwana caught one smallish trout. I say smallish. It would easily fit into a sardine can already filled with fellow sardines. And it would have room to do some sit-ups and push-ups. All these years later, that same fish has grown in the re-telling of the adventure. Now, that fish is so large, so tough, and made of such memorable stuff that Brother Jonah would have easily traded his whale for the greater comfort of being swallowed by Bwana’s fish. That fish was so tough, Bwana claims to have had to shoot it three or four times just to get it into the net.



Let me stop here a moment. Fishing in Alaska can be dangerous. Almost all fisherpersons go into the wilderness armed for protection from Bears. You need to know that, especially, if you are out fishing some stream and a bear decides to contest the issue. Without sufficient protection, the bear is going to win. Bears, not fisherpersons, are the Apex-predators in Alaska. Bwana and most other fisherpersons traditionally carry .22 caliber pistols. I’ll expand on this as it is a 2nd Amendment issue and fully appropriate to share with you.


2nd Amendment Keep and Bear Arms


One does not go fishing in the woods, alone. It’s a buddy system. Not uncommon to have four or five friends fishing along the same stretch of river. Here is where the small caliber pistol comes in. If charged by an angry, territorial, giant bear (who can go from zero to 40 miles an hour faster than a thoroughbred at Santa Anita) one need not outrun the bear. One must just outrun one of the other fisherpersons. One or two shots from the .22 pistol into the leg of a fellow fisherperson can guarantee your safety. Bear attacks in Alaska are usually stopped by gunfire. Not that the bear gets hurt, but from all the noise from the gunplay that breaks out between the fishermen. It scares the poop out of the bears.


For those of you not in favor of the right to keep and to bear arms, imaging stepping in front of a charging, mouth slavering, angry, hostile, and hungry 3,000-pound grizzly bear. I can hear you now saying, “Excuse me, but I was fishing here, and it is my right to do so.” The next thing I would expect to here is not from the said, same Grizzly bear saying, “Pardon me, you are absolutely right.” Nope the next noise would involve growling, crunching, and likely some hearty screaming. Unless, of course, there is that pesky gunfight among your friends to see who gets outrun.


Politicians don’t fish. Bears don’t vote. There is a definite chance that a politician caught in the woods might get into serious trouble with armed constituents who can tell better and more believable lies.


We can change that by finding folks willing to run for office who have some modicum of decency. That is hard to do. One of the tests would be to ask if they fish. If they say “yes and let me tell you a true story”…. then maybe you have found a winner.


The Convention of States and its supporters believe in the 2nd Amendment and in limiting the politicians’ terms in office. You can help the Convention of States and help America by signing the petitions and by volunteering some time and effort.

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